The Joys of Nursing

If it wasn't for my mom, I wouldn't have made it very long with breast feeding Summer. The first 3 weeks after she was born were the toughest I've experienced yet. She would not latch. We tried so many different strategies to get her to latch, I made many trips to the lactation specialist for help. But of course, each time I visited the lactation specialist, she had no problem nursing. Figures. I think I cried my way through the first 3 weeks of her life, I just wanted to feed my daughter and we couldn't get it. Between pumping and trying to feed and feeling guilty about giving her formula, I was a mess. Plus, I could hardly walk.

Finally though, she caught on. It has become my all time favorite thing. The way she perfectly fits in my arm, as my other hand gently rubs her forehead, its the sweetest moment. God is a Creator like none other. I'm proud that I will have nursed my child for the first year of her life. I worked hard those first three weeks - I can't say I would have made it though if it weren't for my mom encouraging me. Breast feeding is so, SO important. It's not just nourishment, it's bonding. And it's amazing.

After just 3 (very) short months, I was back to work. I cried... no, sobbed... the first week of dropping her off. I thank God every day for my dad who watches her (my mom watches her on Fridays). How do parents drop off their newborns at daycare? That would be so hard.

So we're almost at the year mark. I've pumped two-three times a day since August '11. I've sat through meetings, while during prayer you can hear the pumping... I try not to laugh, but it's hard when there's important people in the room, and men. The people I work with have been so generous to be flexible around my needing to pump. Meetings take place in my room to accommodate. I try to work at my desk while I sit there feeling more like a cow, than a teacher, for 30 minutes or more. I have kids to come in during my break and ask what I'm doing. "Uh.... ask your mom" if my go-to response. I have people walk by (in the middle of the day) and go "OH! Summer's here!?". I have to sadly say, it wasn't bring-your-infant-to-work-day - I'm just milking myself.

With the school year wrapping up, I can't tell if it's just that I'm more busy or if i'm starting to be ready to be done pumping in the day. Here's where you can't judge me... Summer sleeps in our bed. She snuggles with me at night as i nurse her. It often takes all of 10 minutes for her to be out. It's my favorite time with her, snuggling in bed. My husband and I have tried to move her into her room (she naps in her crib at home on the weekends and during the day with my dad).

I would LITERALLY fall apart at work if i had to get up at night to feed her. Or rock a fussy baby to sleep. I'm an emotional person WITH sleep, I'm a wreck without it. For the sake of keeping my job (okay, and because I like it), she still sleeps with me. I guess until you're me, you can't say anything about it. I shut down really quick when I was talking to someone once who was SHOCKED that Summer slept with me.

I saw this online. It's pretty much accurate.

The new thing lately is that Summer will dance while she nurses - her little body wiggles as she dances. Or at night she likes to move around a lot, often ending up nursing while laying on her tummy.

I just have so much appreciation for all the Mom's out there that work and raise children. It's the hardest job ever - being a mom, a wife, running a home - but to work 40 hours outside of the home (more than that generally... hello, stack of papers i need to grade). It's just amazing.

I feel like i've climbed a mountain that few can say they've climbed. There aren't many (although lately it seems like there's more) women who can stay home and live on a single income. SO, here's a round of applause for you, if you've worked, nursed, pumped, raised children and managed to look decent and act normal for work the next day.

I'm just sayin'.